Skills Sought and Fantasies Found (or, “Pick a hole and fuck it!”)

Skill Seekers and Fantasy Finders (An Unfinished Foreword, Fraught with Notes to Self) The particular episode I am, at the time of this posting, still in the process of piecing together is meta-morphing into a multi-parted beast focusing on the aspects of sex coaching that employ skills and the facets of escorting that incorporate fantasy. read more..

Skill Seekers and Fantasy Finders (An Unfinished Foreword, Fraught with Notes to Self)

The particular episode I am, at the time of this posting, still in the process of piecing together is meta-morphing into a multi-parted beast focusing on the aspects of sex coaching that employ skills and the facets of escorting that incorporate fantasy. Given our culture of quick fixes and sound bites (listicles and bullet points!) I hope you’ll be patient with me as I mull over a meandering smattering of matters at hand.
(Note: Universalize more. Something about how in our Western propensity to stop and go, stop and go – my desire is that this unfolding will connect a yielding to our collective yearning to wielded wisdom, welcoming us to being more than mere pedestrians to our own experience – erotically or otherwise.)

And just as the radical inclusiveness of the revolutionary Rainbow Flag makes the banner out to be a sort of anti-flag, “Man Alive!” seems likewise to be in the “anti” category blog and man-wise. Far from bashing Old Glory or clashing with blogs that tell it succinctly, what I perhaps most want for us all – in life! – is to get lost to be found, and come again and again to love the imperfectness of the moment as we embrace the impermanence of our time as people.
(Note: Quite forced, doesn’t quite fit in, but important. Needs expansion. Revisit.)

You know, my intention initially was to write up a two-week piece that simply picked up where ”The First Timer” and ”The Married Man” left off, and then I noticed a nagging need to steep in it. In sitting with it, the very notion of how people who are awake and alive to the world go about life seeking the skills to realize their deepest dreams contextualizes so much of what I’ve just been showing up to these past few years, moment by moment, man after man.
(Note: God! It really is just about showing up! How little we show up to our own lives. How can I better suggest this? You’re gonna die, guys – so LIVE!)

These ten or so months in the so-called “Center of the Universe” have revolved around my finding presence to and within the overall process – appreciating the spangling as well as the untangling – while believing that I’m in this field for a reason, even if it so often eludes my grasp. As with developing “Man Alive!,” the life-changing escorting and coaching work I do has become so persistently powerful in that I continue to attend to it, and – in bits and fits and occasional lightbulb twinklings of insight! – this intimate involvement went from serving to heighten my excitement and lengthening my stash of cash, to witnessing a widening wonderment at living.
(Note: Already is overkill, but I’d like to include something like, “With a trusty toolkit and focusing on a fantasy and owning up to what lies underneath it – in any area of life – I find that I’m fully living. And such tools span different disciplines and sources as I strive to live a life free of distraction and fear. A life of focus, yes, but also of discovery – of reaching out to rein in, only to reach out again.” Hmm… Nah! Implicit.)

The weeks to come might prove to be this blog’s most fabulously accomplished failure, but I want this portion-sorting and connection-making to reflect the daily tending to one does until the dazzling whole shines on the shards that mirror as much as shape one another. While a member of many measures, I trust that each individual installment stands alone in its singular testaments and tidbits of truth.
(Note: Preach! Own that Impostor Syndrome. Work in how there isn’t necessarily a commitment to a ten or twelve or ? part series on the part of readers. How each individual installment should truly stand alone and in concert with the preceding and proceeding passages – as is the case with “Man Alive!” as a whole, and life in general. Bah! Too explicit.)

Throughout the upcoming accounts I anticipate touching on the healing qualities of coaching that pertain to a host of traumas and shames that men come to me with – from contending with childhood abuse to insecurity about penis size to what sex might be like post-prostate surgery. Further, many men employ me as an escort less to attain a “fantasy” and more to flat-out have an intimate interaction with another man without judgment or fear of being caught, or time fraught with the expended energy in technological tail-chasing.
(Note: Find a way to playfully insert an exclaimed “Pick a hole and fuck it!” Can’t wait to get buckwild – fuckwild! – with this thing. YEYUH!)

In these seemingly separate services, I engage men in a holistic approach toward whole-person awareness. The skills most often sought after are sexual in nature – from overcoming a gag reflex to slickly sliding a cock down your throat, or going from prematurely coming to prolonging your pleasure as he rides your raging hard-on. However, men frequently seek me out with social and emotional concerns regarding identity, community, dating, sex, and life at large. We might discuss how to negotiate safe sex with a partner or create meaningful routine and ritual. I consistently assist men in coming out and connecting with fellow men who love men, as well as cultivating the capacity to live vibrantly in the present – and preparing to die.
(Note: A bit about how I regularly refer men to other service providers and resources. How I mostly serve as a waystation-of-sorts.)

So while the forthcoming segments cannot come close to being complete in detail, they will be comprehensive in theme with particulars interspersed purposefully – in tandem with one to the other and, well, at random. As the commentary itself will not hold the intent of encompassing the whole of what I do and, similarly, fantasies and forays detailed might be far removed from my time with you, please glide along the wave to be guided toward wakefulness, Men Alive!
(Note: Something about how it’s our lack of presence that finds us hung-up on the past with regrets of what we didn’t do – or presently know how to! – while all future-focused in fear and fantasy. “You come to me from the rat race, heads all over the place – to externalize the internal chaos to get to a real peace and who you are in relation to it all. From juggling this and that in this era of technological distraction to buggering a real man in an organic moment in a contained, safe space… What an honor!” Something like that, maybe? Dear God, let it not be obvious how full of myself I clearly am!)

As we culturally converse on sundry “new dimensions of freedom,” I encourage you to take the liberty to find freedom on the frontier within as you read the entries to follow. And, in the day-to-day, count it a privilege to be able to pursue any opportunity that alerts you to yourself in relation to a sensational way of being!
(Note: Something about the mindset of skillset acquisition being the allowance of the “altogether rough draft,” and “skills sought and fantasies found.” And about how especially in these writings I feel contrived in my not having yet “arrived.” Play with the inherent “hypocrisy” of teaching what you’re still contending with, and how permissive this is to playing with while getting at… I am not an authority! I take the liberty to evolve! The definition of “success”! YES!)

So here we go in a non-how-to flowery, flowering reality of wonder…

(Note: Oh, my… Must kick caffeine addiction, for one thing. Definitely scrap considered “eclipse my solipsism” and “ellipses” to “punctuated moments” with “situation at hand” – “a mouthpiece, soulful with his holes full.” Calm down just a tad, then go forward. How overdue that we all stop overdoing!)

(Click here to consume part two.)