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Finally, First (or, the Future – once Forgotten – is Feminine)

A Finale: Finding Myself Lost – Soft and Strong! – in Womanly Wonderment! And here we are, “Men Alive!” I’m returning to Nepal (where I wrote most of this website that fateful summer of 2014, and where I plan to re-write it this nebulous wintertime – while re-envisioning how I’ll go forward), so please be read more..


A Finale: Finding Myself Lost – Soft and Strong! – in Womanly Wonderment!

And here we are, “Men Alive!”

I’m returning to Nepal (where I wrote most of this website that fateful summer of 2014, and where I plan to re-write it this nebulous wintertime – while re-envisioning how I’ll go forward), so please be patient as I piece together this “farewell” to the blog…

…And enjoy the notes below I’m currently working with as a glimpse into my “writer’s process.” Forever first draft!…

…But if you’re new to “Man Alive!” – please skip the ensuing ridiculousness and feel free to read the renditions of “Manifesto Alive!” posted previously. 🙂

What a moment…



The blog has broken – faced my fears and identified what was missing in my life.

Paragraph 1: Mention all the blog posts that weren’t – a memoir someday
INCITE Insight – ain’t nothing like an apocalypse to give a man purpose

Paragraph 2: Position at Desk – View
What is socially considered optimal is, quite frankly, personally optional.

Paragraphs 3-6: If you’re reading this – get lost – and READ IT THIS WAY.
Let it give you permission. This is a time for all kinds of arts. We can’t wait to be degreed, approved of – we just must make it, and show up to it early and regularly!

Seasons – Reason for Being, seeing, reading
Calling/Curiosity (“more curiosity than fear”) – FASCINATING!

Paragraphs 7-9: INTIMACY
Achieving versus Recognizing that one already is loveable, etc.
Taste = Know – taste knowingness?
Healing is coming to terms with, NOT fixing
Fall asleep – Shake awake
“Judgment – black and white
Discernment – shades of gray”
I’m catalyst – conduit – preparatory
“inattentive” – casualness
Intimacy – Experienced Oneness
Ego – separate self; Spirit – interconnected
Do not come to be completed – come to realize already complete
Ego – seeking and never finding
Realizing you already have

INTIMACY – with nature, everything, in the moment – not just relegated to a one-off encounter

Paragraphs 10-11: DANCE AROUND:
Creativity – ENCIRCLING
“Invitation to Dance”
“It’s all gonna be alright”

Paragraph 12&13: Position at Desk – View
Sediment rises – short-sighted, high-rising
Return to innocence, welcome experience (reword).
Radical messaging in more-or-less conventional packaging.

Paragraphs 14-15: A farewell and hello to that timelessness – Wonder and Delight – Amateurish
Overpopulated planet – alone, receptive
Give-to-get rat race to receive
Twinkle, twinkle in the dark – sprinkler in the yard
*** Commodify things that are best enjoyed as ALIVE!

Paragraphs 16-18:

Paragraphs 19-21: WHO I AM and WHY I’m HERE – Social Role
“All crisis is an invitation to rise to the occasion”
“I am a space where you have radical permission to be who you are.”

Addictingly – avoidantly


“Doing away concept of good and evil/duality – reclaiming my place with Mother Earth – reclaiming Eve/Eden – “Eve in Eden”
“Scrambling to make it work” “rambling the world over”

“Strong and soft” self-surprised and world-realized

Paragraph 22: PAY ATTENTION – Be present – No judgment
“Attention is a very special resource”
Knee-jerk – unresearched, tactless and factless
“Flee from the Freedom of…”

Paragraph 23: Position at desk, view
Trading in this dominion for a sense of wonder, a welcoming of delight.
Exodus from NYC – genesis of… A procurer of possibility.
What I’m giving up: LIST
Stagnancy – doing something that is finished (reword)

Paragraph 24: Benediction: Personal Clarity/Divine Guidance
Sophie and Mary
Angels and Fairy
Goodly ghosts and help especially extraterrestrial
Words of the dead to help us instead of faux-wisdom of the now, now, now

Yours, Simply…


PS – Updated SA.com by Spring. Videos on here by Summer. Second website/enterprise soon to follow!

Fit into – Bit open
Slip into – split open – Sit upon – Spit out
Forbidden Freedom

1.) To Love and Be Loved
2.) Express Your Creativity
3.) Cultivate your Spirit, to work Consciously at Aligning Personality with Soul
4.) Counseled with Impersonal Wisdom of Nonphysical Teachers and guidance of nonphysical Guides
AUTHENTIC NEEDS – are those always met by the Universe!
By learning to respond to your Authentic Needs and by allowing your Artificial Needs to drop aside as unnecessary defense mechanisms, you become more open and understanding and compassionate with others
Humility and hubris

Instigating epiphanies
Original – Natural, Passionate Beingness
Appreciatively appellating
Catalyst – cataclysmic
Erotic embodiment
Tragic mistaking – magic-making
Lusting after lackluster
Known to no one
Groping at non-truths instead of beholding beauty

Struggle – structure
Technological racing, chasing, taste-raising
Gauge the outrageousness – greatest act of graciousness
Ethereal – earthly – lyrical
Big buildings that may someday scrape the sky they obstruct:
Smatter – scatter – matter – sparkle – shimmer – shudder – shiver – glisten – dazzle – strangle – etc.
Glitter – glimmer –
Comparing – competing – conforming
Popularized – polarized
Surreal – serendipitious
Recurring concern
Confident – confinement
Deepened my dependence
Everlasting – never asking
Relevance of revelation
Algorhythms take away my capacity for self-induced synergism
Dilly dally and sally forth – Philippines
Absurdity of Certainty
Melting pot – meeting point (cold reference)
Wistfully innovating new ways of viewing the past – applying
“Making good on my word”

Co-opt desires to deliver to Genuine Needs
Authentic Power – Empowerment is not gained by making choices that do not stretch you – “the task of change” to reach your greatness
Desire to Intention-setting – powerfully effective
Desire – Dire
“NOT motivated by profits generated by serving others to a dynamic of serving others made possible by profits”

BBC200135 Adam and Eve banished from Paradise, c.1427 (fresco) (detail) (pre-restoration) (see also 63190) by Masaccio, Tommaso (1401-28)
Brancacci Chapel, Santa Maria del Carmine, Florence, Italy
Italian, out of copyright

Old as Adam and Simply Divine

Sporadically radical
“Understand nature and humanity not control it, but be a part of it”

Walking unaware of the wondrousness, wounded
Equality as uniformity – radical faggotry

Sample me to get to what you want to sink your teeth into in life

Love and Compassion, Guided by Wisdom!
Humbleness, Forgiveness, Clarity, and Love are the Dynamics of FREEDOM
Awaken wisdom within – Aware of ____ without

Clarity = Seeing with Wisdom
Clarity allows the energy of the heart to flow.
Love is not a passive state – it is an active force
“live in love” – trust that truth
Clarity turns pain into suffering – reflect and perfect

“Eat of the tree” (commanded not to eat)
Serpent is THE God of Eden – Yahweh walks in the cool of the evening (a visitor)
Separation and Unity
Man split in two
Falter in falling asleep
Ubiquity in the beginning
It’s all good.
Stars – signs – seasons
Sanctified seventh day
From Midtown West, eastward to my Eden-of-choice
It’s a good thing that man isn’t alone.
“more subtile than other beasts in my field”
Serpent-beguiled, fruit-eaters, dust-taken and returned
In sorrow bring forth ideas (not a punishment)
“Find God again hidden amongst the trees”


Add a Response 26 thoughts on “Finally, First (or, the Future – once Forgotten – is Feminine)

  1. The forever/unfinished blog entry: What an exit/opening, Adam!

    Prophetic: The future -once forgotten- is feminine. You said it before the masses, like much else here.

    Clarity in clairvoyance. Off you go…. You’ll be missed. You’ll be revisited.

    • You’ll be missed/revisited as well, Gertjan. (Yes! Clarity is quite the clairvoyage…) To finishing – eventually… XX – and then some… Adam

  2. Clarity = Seeing with Wisdom
    Clarity allows the energy of the heart to flow.
    Love is not a passive state – it is an active force
    “live in love” – trust that truth
    Clarity turns pain into suffering – reflect and perfect

    There is always something about you that resonates with the mind and hearts of all!!! please post more often so i can have that sensation of enlightenment from someone who truly understands!

    • Thanks, Dre – and please be patient. I’m procrastinating from finishing this entry. 😉 Much love from Nepal – where all is paced… Adam

  3. Adam,
    I have followed your blog for several months, and today I finally had the courage to write and tell you what an inspiration you are. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. With much love, Rex.

    • Thank you for receiving it, and for sharing your gratitude, Rex. Do stay tuned for a finished product – on the horizon… So much to work with! What a time to create. Love, Adam

  4. Dearest Adam,

    I have been so honored to know you and touch you!! Your words, in your Blog have been so amazing, enlightening and helpful. Much, Much Love for everyting you are!! Enjoy Nepal my friend.

    • As have I, dear Dennis – to know and touch and taste you! Gratitude and Love for all that you are, and for sharing that with all of us… Adam

  5. Adam, what a gifted writer and man you are. Your words resonate and amplify, and along with these other men, I can recognize and appreciate your vulnerability.

    I admire your aura, your soul, your spirit. We have not yet met and yet over these last many months I feel I do know you intimately in a way.

    Thank you.


    • We all know one another intimately, Todd… what a joy it is to “RE: Re-rediscover” the reality of our wondrous oneness! 🙂 A hug – and then some… Adam

  6. I feel so honored, Adam, to have been privy to your blog, which seems to continually spin like a prayer wheel–invoking mind, body, and soul. I’ve never met anyone so willing to traverse these parts of one’s self so bravely, willingly, and joyously.
    Thank-you for this gift: you’ve inspired me to make as much as I can of my own travels, as I’ve moved closer to home, to my own “eden-of-choice” at ocean’s edge. What I take from this current, though final, entry, is to be reminded that I’m not a fixed point, but a vibration.
    You’ll be in my prayers as you set out on your trip to Nepal, prayers for a safe and wondrous time; prayers, too, for your return.
    much love,

    • And I’ve been honored by your involvement and constant encouragement, Chris.

      I’ll be reveling in our vibratory collectiveness while traversing to the Top of the World today into tomorrow, finding solace in the reality that – indeed – we are not “fixed points.” Thank you –

      And love, and love, and love…


    • Always positive, always spiritual.
      So simple and yet for me the habits keep me for enjoying everything of my gayness.
      Your writing is extremely sensitive to all I need.
      I long to be whole again.

      • The good news is that we’re never not whole, Joseph! I encourage you to design some intentional, regularly revisited routines and rituals (an email is heading your way). Get back to the magic. Be comforted – and confronted. We’re best off believing in possibility – in accepting abundance. Our very selves. Adam

  7. Adam! So much energy emanating from you…seemingly on one enormous inhale and exhale of a single breath…. Namaste…. as your journey (and ours, vicariously) continues to take you where the world directs you to be…. Hesitant to anoint ANY part with comments or questions as I wouldn’t want in any way to influence the DIVINE flow that is at hand….(YOUR hand, figuratively and literally)! That being said…. two small contributions (as opposed to comments: One of my favorite definitions of “Intimacy” is “Into ME, SEE” and “Known to no one” is filled with wondering what’re the LAYERS behind, inside, in front and beyond that you learn of yourself on this trip and how much you’ll share with those of us fortunate to have intersected with you on life’s frenetic highway…. I KNOW our paths and our destinies will continue to intersect as you’ve found a way into my soul that I’ll always wish to seek out….wherever in the Universe ye dwell. Go in peace. Go with God. Be forever safe.

    • Perhaps believing in the need for this unraveling contributes to the rapid breathing, “L.” 🙂 To being forever safe – eternally across the map. XO Adam

  8. I’m also excited to read the finalized “finale” Adam! It’s interesting reading your notes knowing that you have a process of gathering information and even sounds to enhance your entries.

    The “socially optimal” note really resonates with me. Thank you.

    Enjoy Nepal!

    • Knowing what we prefer – how we’re oriented to the world – is vitally important to living a free and full life, dear man. I’m glad it resonated. Soon, soon… Thank you. Adam

  9. What a sad day, and one we knew would come — the end of “Man Alive”! Reading your writing has been a major highlight of the last couple years, friend. I’ll return to read the rest of this later this month when you’re in Nepal. In the meantime I too will peruse some of my favorite entries from the past. Namaste….. :-]

    • It’s bittersweet indeed, John. All things must come to an end, as they say – yet they’re endlessly beginning. We’ll see. Much love… Adam

  10. Thank you for providing this soulful and thought-provoking blog. My days will not be the same without discovering your new entry or re-reading the priors. Thank you for sharing and allowing us into your beautiful life and adventures. Have a wonderful new year! Hope it brings you happiness, delight, success and prosperity. Waiting anticipation on what the new year brings you (and us). Cheers!

    • My days won’t be the same either, Kevin… Creativity sometimes meanders… Leads us as much as we show up to it… Prosperity, joy, and WONDER to you, dear man. Adam

  11. Our very own man alive! You’ve led us on a rewarding journey and you now indicate newer projects I’m excited for. Thank you for your blog’s amazing run. It has greatly enriched my life. A happy new year to you and all the best in your many transitions. Noah

    • You’re most welcome, Noah. Thank YOU for being on board with these meaning-musing meanderings. 🙂 An expansive 2017 – and beyond – to you as well… Love, Adam


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