A Vision Ready for the worst in my seat… unsteady behind the wheel… practice driving downhill… paved streets through the pine trees as my father screams once more at me from the passenger’s side… marked by his hatred with a fate that feels sealed by a threatening future as I forcefully steer on the threshold read more..
Ready for the worst in my seat… unsteady behind the wheel… practice driving downhill… paved streets through the pine trees as my father screams once more at me from the passenger’s side… marked by his hatred with a fate that feels sealed by a threatening future as I forcefully steer on the threshold of manhood, face to face with my fear, gearing uphill –
Been daytime it had, now nighttime it was in these forests of Northern Michigan. Looking upward – up from my driving through the top of the truck to behold a sky split equally between darkness and light. A twinkling of time erases space as I cast my eyes downward, and I am in my front yard down state, overlooking little Stewart Lake. Past its small stretch, an understated thundering draws my attention beyond the Oaks across the way as I wearily witness smoke, fire, and brimstone bursting from the heavens. Looming on the horizon, and forthcoming quickly, with the hazard of consuming all, I mutedly call through the heavenly trumpeting for my mother. Not a word comes forth, and I pass up on a response as I frantically pack my step-father’s van, figuring I will crash it endeavoring to drive from our winding, hilled, dead-end dirt road so deep in the woods to safety in a world I have yet to encounter and cannot bring myself to envision –
All distorted – everyone having disappeared – fearing I will kill my dog in pointless pain in a disappointed escape, I break into the neighbors’ garage to grab a firearm, doggedly determined to put my dearest friend down, but I cannot locate it. Back to the vanguard, and she won’t leap in and my weak arms cannot lift her –
We’d been through this before, I somehow recall. “Goshdarnit!” Time is running out and I would rather die than leave her behind! I run to an unfamiliar house, shattering glass and silence, and come upon an unrecognized gun. I hold it, uncertain of how to use it –
Wish as I might while coming back to my backyard for the second time with the weapon cocked and mighty tears streaming down my cheeks –
I chance a look out one last time, having crossed a big line, to observe a clear sky in broadened daylight.
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