Pornography in the Center

 

Dominating Adam (or, Another Experimental Submission)

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AdamAwash

passion projectors… personal prospectors… passers-by…

…as I submit these samples – these written bits of wisdom – this catalytic clutter of love-informed circuitousness… know that it’s near impossible to dictate to – to dominate – a person if he inspires puzzlement… if one finds himself dazzled by another…

…imagine if we’d only allow ourselves to marvel at every feature of him so as to come upon his fullness… to but touch on these tidbits of this transcendence implicit in its magnification of ourselves into an enchanted day-to-day way of being…

AdamAwaits

…you cannot strip a man of his humanity if you’ve slipped out of your resistances… your hesitancies… so wherever we are… with whomever we’re with… we might be knowingly naked… decidedly unashamed… fictitiously fallen… falling in with our ephemerality – into euphoric eternality…

…yet we repeatedly get stuck – as what fronts as desire is in fact addiction… so suffused we are with information – mass-produced, socially-imposed expectations – in an epoch weighted by interruptions and diversions… that our capacity for surprise – for losing ourselves in a given thing’s beginnings to unearth its greatest purpose – is often lost on us…

…all this immediacy, yet so seldom much substance – never mind the know-how to allow an encounter its distinct resonance, its individual relevance in our lives…

…perhaps this is why more than 1/3 of men in the us and uk are addicted to porn and about 1/3 of internet searches worldwide attest to just such a hankering for hardcore – addiction is a widespread symptom of unhappiness, of fatigue, of resignation – and almost everyone is hooked on those little to big somethings that afford us fleeting fits of ecstasy – be it sex or workaholism, gambling and shopping or alcohol and – for yours truly (in pathetic stretches) – sweets! – if we could simply acknowledge our sadnesses and dissatisfactions, then employ our pain through a channeling of our childhood passions in a more beneficial, more mature manner – to comfort others in their hurt – to be compelled, unwaveringly, toward some more rewarding area…

…as addiction numbs us to our authentic needs, it debilitates our ability to empathize with others – and as excess springs from the simplest of longings, so we, too, accept this very thrill-insistence, belaboring it here until one can communicate it – until you can identify yourself within it in my own nuanced, nancied fashion – rehearsing our wholeness, all the while having at the love we make – meeting Adam and Steve in it anew…

…scribbled script succeeding experimental pictures, and you being mindful of the form as comprising the force as it synthesizes within an initially discordant meandrousness – letting it slow you down in a scrambling that madly shows us up to a swelled consciousness – that a fixation’s constriction can uncover hitherto unknown urgencies – allowing idiosyncrasy and obscurity to summon a breadth of ubiquitousness (you are, after all, far from alone)…

…so be emboldened by this erotic, episodic mockery of our culture of dick pics mixed in with miscellaneous quick fixes… this exploratory, porn-imploding posturing… then, if internet-addicted, stow away your device and prioritize how you can best invite excitement into your life once more – without this damned demand for now, now, now next-ness…

…my supplication to you is for you to drop an idea if you must, but nibble before biting into what you might benefit from, being careful not to interpret the cock in hand in a manner that expands an unhelpful, longstanding story – contrarily, keeping it in tact…

…wander beyond to the boundlessness of what words strive to do… go where the photos merely point you to… come to understand your yearnings as determined – by you…

…as men-loving-men, let’s surrender to a pleasure that finishes and rests in blessed togetherness…

…ceding control in seeing the beauty right before our eyes…

…feeling supported… prodded purposefully toward a sense of the goodness in living in this weird world, and the grace we grant its sundry others solely by loving ourselves… receiving who and what we gravitate toward – not strictly as I depict it, but as you perceive it… as you relate to it… placing it in the center of our collective experience.

ENTER PART TWO OF MY PREMIER PORNOGRAPHIC SERIES HERE.

Add a Response 20 thoughts on “Pornography in the Center

  1. Adam — Another mind-bending piece. It’s loudly resonating, this idea of domination in the ‘Steve Does Adam’ series and how it falls in on itself. How apropos to the times we’re living in, full of bombast and greed when what we need more of is introspection and solidarity. Kudos for being a voice of change and hope, and for demonstrating this through your art. It’s a shame you’re facing so many obstacles with payment processing, the massage websites, and other forms of censorship. Press on! Your vision must be shared.

    • And thank you, John, for so astutely reading into my wrestling with what we’re all – in one way or another – flummoxed by, if not frightened of. It’s a trying time, and a time to try anew with vision and conviction. Much love and gratitude… Adam

  2. Adam, you unceasingly amaze. Your writing folds in on itself, shifts in style and improves overall. In growing as a writer and person publicly for us you encourage us to grow up as well. What moves me most is how you strive to hold on to your idealism even as your “wide eyed” naivete is attacked by the sterile, removed nature of industrialism; especially as it affects you during your country’s recent puritanical sweep.

    All we want is to be intimate with one another, you write so eloquently, to demonstrate our inner magic. Reading your recent posts has been more and more challenging, but infinitely more rewarding and, to use one of your favorite words, “revelatory.”

    You cast a spell on those who take the time to be transfixed. Thank you for your conscious anger and your chosen optimism and, most of all, for your loving kindness.

    • Where do I begin amidst all this generosity, Gertjan? Your observations are not only astute – they are deeply validating. Yes, I’m stuck in my own series of revelations – as much in agreement with the universe as I am angered by the current powers that be – and believe the greatest form of rebellion, for me, for now, is to strive to put something beautiful out there. Something that resonates with me, with those I connect with, just hoping it points to timeless – timely – truths. Man, it’s an intense time. One that calls for more attending to the important and less attaching to the temporal. One that begs us to slow down before we show up. 🙂 I so appreciate your adventitious commenting. A huge hug from the Big Apple… Adam

  3. Sensuous and layered, Adam! I wouldn’t expect anything less from someone so thoughtful. Looking forward to surrendering to a pleasure that finishes and rests in togetherness with you soon in Hotlanta.

    • It’s very much a shared impatience, “W”! To finishing and resting together in that wondrous afterwards… Adam

  4. Dear Adam, thank you for this incredible work! We met nearly four years ago when I moves to Chicago. Our time together was absolutely amazing and included all of the elements expected and beyond. I’ve longed to travel to Manhatten to only experience another session with you. Your work here is beyond perfection, and I want to commend you on the quality and sexuality exhibited in your professional setting. Until I see you again my friend. Love and miss you dearly.

    • What a different time of life that was, Craig – I’d revel in a reunion! I appreciate your reaching out after all this time, and taking inspiration in a whole new way. 🙂 Adam

  5. As a recovering sex and porn addict this prose piece hit home. It is sticky and toxic and, as mentioned, ‘some more rewarding area’ is where the answer lies. I’ve had to reformulate my life to make room for what truly gives me meaning. I’m a fan of your porn series and your writings because you work in the difficult tangle that so many get stuck in, but your goal is always enlightenment and freedom even when it is intimidating. Your writing is complex and rich and richly rewarding, Adam. Keep on sharing your light brother!

    • I sure will, William, and thank you so very much for your support and dedicated observations. I feel bolstered and buoyed. 🙂 I’m delighted you feel likewise. Adam

  6. You continue to amaze us, Adam. I admire your bravery as you shed light on the taboos of pornography in such a unique way.

  7. When you meet Adam you realize his sensuality is fully integrated with his physical and verbal actions. This prose is translated into reality with Adam, every nuance and bead of sweat. If he comes across in a sensual manner it is because he is and that is how he connects- from his earlobes to his toes.

  8. I think that most men need to feel safe and valued in order to relax enough to appreciate real-time experience that involves either BDSM or a more “vanilla” experience!

    • And we still do, Mike, despite my having seen you mere moments ago to celebrate this expansive epoch of your life. Thank you for all that you are… Adam

  9. When I met you last year I left feeling that you accepting me let me accept myself Adam. Your writing expresses this ability beautifully. Continue with your unique spin on meaning and sexuality. You have a captive audience.

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