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An Apocalyptic Adam (Part One)

A Vision Ready for the worst in my seat… unsteady behind the wheel… practice driving downhill… paved streets through the pine trees as my father screams once more at me from the passenger’s side… marked by his hatred with a fate that feels sealed by a threatening future as I forcefully steer on the threshold read more..

 

A Vision

Apocalypse1

Ready for the worst in my seat… unsteady behind the wheel… practice driving downhill… paved streets through the pine trees as my father screams once more at me from the passenger’s side… marked by his hatred with a fate that feels sealed by a threatening future as I forcefully steer on the threshold of manhood, face to face with my fear, gearing uphill –

Been daytime it had, now nighttime it was in these forests of Northern Michigan. Looking upward – up from my driving through the top of the truck to behold a sky split equally between darkness and light. A twinkling of time erases space as I cast my eyes downward, and I am in my front yard down state, overlooking little Stewart Lake. Past its small stretch, an understated thundering draws my attention beyond the Oaks across the way as I wearily witness smoke, fire, and brimstone bursting from the heavens. Looming on the horizon, and forthcoming quickly, with the hazard of consuming all, I mutedly call through the heavenly trumpeting for my mother. Not a word comes forth, and I pass up on a response as I frantically pack my step-father’s van, figuring I will crash it endeavoring to drive from our winding, hilled, dead-end dirt road so deep in the woods to safety in a world I have yet to encounter and cannot bring myself to envision –

All distorted – everyone having disappeared – fearing I will kill my dog in pointless pain in a disappointed escape, I break into the neighbors’ garage to grab a firearm, doggedly determined to put my dearest friend down, but I cannot locate it. Back to the vanguard, and she won’t leap in and my weak arms cannot lift her –

We’d been through this before, I somehow recall. “Goshdarnit!” Time is running out and I would rather die than leave her behind! I run to an unfamiliar house, shattering glass and silence, and come upon an unrecognized gun. I hold it, uncertain of how to use it –

Wish as I might while coming back to my backyard for the second time with the weapon cocked and mighty tears streaming down my cheeks –

I chance a look out one last time, having crossed a big line, to observe a clear sky in broadened daylight.

(To continue on in this three-part series, click here.)

Add a Response 14 thoughts on “An Apocalyptic Adam (Part One)

  1. Last night, after my return, you took me to the thin fresh air of Katmandu with its heavy load of vital and rapidly ascending odors. I was mesmerized with the images. Now, I wake up in the Northern Michigan dusk. The passage with your dog is very touching and adorable. It is great to corroborate that our daily endeavor could be transformed into a poetic journey. Gilbert

    • Just you wait for parts two and three, Gilbert – they’re beastly, and my dear old Labrador makes a wakeful entrance. 🙂 To the poetic journey… Adam

  2. I already told you privately how great your new pics were. I look forward to reading each week your new blog. Looking forward to the next one. Hoping for a real time meeting soon. Todd

  3. So much powerful imagery here, Adam. Absolutely love it and look forward to reading more.
    Also…love the new pics in the gallery too. Very sensual.
    Happy almost spring 🙂

  4. Adam,

    Wonderful & wild images in this blog. Having a Crazy!! “Born Again father”, hidden sex with the neighbor boy’s (which really saved me by showing me love, kindness and its was truly amazing passionate youthful sex). I can so relate to your growing up, you in Michigan I in Ohio, Go Midwest!! My Grandfather had even told me to stay away from those Cornholer’s (Someone who uses a corn cob to fuck them self with,IE early rural dildo) as he called us, No such term as Gay yet). I was always wondering how I would fit into society. So looking forward to the next two parts of your story, feeling it touch me and remind’s me I am now home and welcome in a community. So glad to be a proud Cornholer!!!!

    Much Love and Admiration,

    PS. Love your sexy cover shot in your adorable blue, NYC underwear. Can’t wait to get inside them later on this month

    • Corn and Jesus, my fellow Midwesterner! And thank you for the underwear. 😉 I’m eager to watch this thing unveil too… Adam

  5. This is going to be fascinating, just to compare with my own perspective. My church showed us “A Thief in the Night,” and all us kids became obsessed with looking for the signs of the rapture. (Similarly, in later years we would become obsessed with demons after we all read “This Present Darkness’). I bet we could tell some similar stories.

    Perhaps we will… or perhaps we’ll be focused on other things… in TWO short weeks!

    • Yes, Mike! My church showed *A Thief in the Night* as well, and I’d completely forgotten about *This Present Darkness*. I definitely had a phase where I was obsessed with demons as well, and that will get a brief mention this coming Friday, I imagine. Less than two weeks now! Adam

  6. Your own endtime vision, perhaps? And how agonizing and sweet is your devotion to your dog. Reminds me that we all are born a second time, so often in a crucible of hellfire, sometimes of our own doing, other times, having to flee from those closest and, we’d thought, safest. How grateful I am that in the end, you caught that glimpse of clear sky, and that you landed here, bringing your ever evolving, loving self along. What a gift you are!

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